HAYYYYY!! OK ........ I have started taking Roscoe to the dog park every couple of days. I like the fact that he can run, run, and run .. ie the dog park tires Mr. Man OUT! While watching and following Roscoe, I've made a few observations that I would like to share with the class:

1. For some reason, small dogs [ie .. teacup size] feel this overwhelming need to bark whenever another dog or person comes within "their" space. WHY?? There are 15 various dogs running around, but Fe-Fe has to tell everyone to "talk to the hand."

2. You have owners like me, who trail behind their dogs just to make sure there on no fights on the school yard. And then you have others who grab a seat, start reading their book or get on the cell phone. And if their dog is involved in a throwdown, the only action is to yell across the yard, "Ray-Ray be nice! Ray-Ray play nice!" Lady, Ray-Ray is laying on top of another dog, and growling if anyone comes near.

3. Even though the park has an "doggie" water fountain, it is never operational. Therefore, I always bring a bottle of cold water and bowl for Mr. R. If another dog comes along and starts drinking from the bowl, no problem, the water is for everyone. However, I have actually seen owners push other dogs away from water bowls they place on the ground. Lady, your dog just spent five minutes smelling every other dog's butt in the park .. we can all share the Evian.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ While the Jackson ceremony was going on and on and on at work, and while I was making some constructive "comments," a co-worker suggested that I might be a little insensitive. ME?? Insensitive?? What are you talking about??

BUTTTTTTTT, since we are on the subject of the Jackson ceremony, I had a few questions:

1. Besides Mariah, Janet, and maybe Usher, where were all the BIG names? I know that Madonna is on tour overseas, but what about Prince? Oprah? Bill and Hill Clinton? Elton John? That guy from Webster? Not to mention, MJ's diva trio, Miss Ross, Elizabeth Taylor and Liza? I think it is very telling that Miss Ross, of all people, was not there.

2. I'm sure that kid who was a finalist on Britain's Got Talent, is incredibly gifted. But what happened Tito?? Was Sanjaya busy? Besides Mariah, didn't the Jacksons know anyone more famous to perform? No Justin Timberlake. No Miley. No Beyonce [maybe since she is on tour, but you could have at least gotten Solange!].

3. And speaking of Miss Mariah ........ Am I the only one who thinks she looked suspiciously pregnant in that dress? Remember how J-Lo [why wasn't she at this shin-dig] denied she was pregnant, while wearing loose fitting, high waisted skirts? And once again, was I the only one who was worried that Jennifer Hudson might have her baby on that stage today?

4. Another co-worker asked a golden question ....... who is paying for all this hoopla?

5. But all these questions and concerns are just petty thoughts when we come to LaToya. Toy-Toy, Toy-Toy, what is with that hat? I know the video above is about MJ's daughter, but this one of the few pics I could find of LaToya's hat. Do not get me wrong, I love this hat. I WANT this hat. But Toy, what have you gotten hid up under there? And why can we only see half of your face?

In my opinion, LaToya is the ultimate Jackson! If you want a truly moving and life affirming read, rush to your nearest second or third hand bookstore [because no library is going to be seen with this book] and purchase her autobiography, LATOYA. Prepare to be moved many times!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ I just watched Gov. Sarah Palin's resignation speech twice [thanks to the incredible website/blogger Joe at http://www.joemygod.blogspot.com/]. I watched Sarah twice and still could not understand what she was talking about. I heard her mention the word "resigning," but everything else was all over the place. Naturally, this led me to ask some questions:

1. Sarah was once a vice-presidential nominee, and the current governor of Alaska. She is resigning as governor for unknown reasons. She holds a press conference in her backyard, and when the camera pans the rapt audience .. there are only 20 to 25 people! What Sarah? No Twitter? Where was everybody? Heading for MJ's funeral?

2. She went on and on about some basketball analogy that I could not understand. Did anyone in Alaska know that this woman REALLY wanted to play for the WNBA? Maybe Sarah is really a Sappho Sister?

3. Will her resignation ruin her contract negotiations with Lens Crafters? Or those people that sell that hair pony tail thingy on TV around 2:00 AM?

4. On a personal note, what will happen to Todd Palin? Because Daaaaaaaaam! He could have a new career as the Brawny paper towel man, or the new Diet Coke guy!

5. Will this ruin the modeling/cover story/shoe-in for a reality series career of Bristol Palin's boyfriend, and the father of Sarah's grandchild, Levi Johnston? And you know some child talent agency needs to give Piper Palin her own Disney series! What was that child wearing at the press conference attended by 10?

6. Did you notice that Sarah never thanked her staff? Besides talking about basketball, she went on and on about her kids. Did she not have a staff?

7. And the question that I'm sure is on La Toya Jackson's mind, as well as mine .. why exactly is she quitting?

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ You may or may not have seen the video on You Tube, where a man is walking home from the Twin Cities Pride Parade / Celebration in Minneapolis. While the man is on his journey, a group of pre-teen and teenage Somalian boys ask the man if he is gay, and then begin to follow and verbally harass the guy. For some reason, a passerby or the man's friend was able to tape this interaction.

The boys state that they "hate gay people" or "*F* gay people." At one point during the verbal comments, two police officers walk past the man and boys without any reaction! Since this video has begun to circle the internet, the Minneapolis Police Department has issued a statement that these "officers" are not part of their department, and that the MPD does not tolerate such behavior.

Watching this video brought forth so many emotions .. anger, fear, dread, complacency, and overall distrust [and the re-occurring thought, "why don't you back to Somalia?"]. However, I was amazed at the reactions from the guy who was simply walking home from a Pride event. He laughed at the boys and kept moving.

Therefore, in order to end today's blog entry on as more positive note, I have posted the video of Diana and Micheal performing "Upside Down." This is taken from Diana's 1980 tv special "diana," when she was at the ultimate peak of her popularity [3 top 10 singles in one year, including "Upside Down," which stayed at #1 for four weeks], and Michael had put out OFF THE WALL and was heading for super stardom. Diana just looks so happy in this video!

And once again, the man walking home from Pride laughed at the boys.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Due to some recent encounters with family, friends and the Jacksons, I decided to post something a little different today. I wanted to concentrate on the positive and decided to give a shout out to 7 "people, places, pets and things" that I am very grateful God has put into my life [and they are in no order of importance, just what came into my brain while I was trying to take the cookie dough ice cream away from Janet [who constantly screams at me, "no my name ain't baby, it's Janet! Miss Jackson if you're nasty!"]:

1. My job! Everyday I hear about more and more individuals being let go, laid off, etc. And so many of these people would be grateful for any type of job, no matter the pay.

2. My bossy sidekick and the true diva of the condo, Mr. Roscoe! The true diva who will bark at any dog passing by [large or small], but waits at the top of the stairs if I have go downstairs in the middle of the night. You just know Lassie would never act this way!

3. Old friends [C.C., P.P.], New Friends [H.G.], and re-discovered friends [K.Q.D-B, Dr. W.]!

4. Miss Diana Ross! Yes, MJ is a legend! Yes, Madonna is an artist! And Yes, I still can not understand how Pebbles ever became a singer, but Miss Ross was before all of THAT HOT MESS!

5. My family through thick and thin .. and NO, I'm not taking about when I was a supermodel and now!

6. My home! I freakin' love my condo! Mr. Roscoe and I have lived here for over a year [and YES, there are still some boxes that need to be unpacked] and I still go WOW!

7. God! Plain and simple.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Time for some soap box words of wisdom.

In the past month, I have seen or heard three Atlanta theatres make pleas, either through curtain speeches or e-mail blasts, for immediate assistance to their budgets. The plea may be presented differently, but the message is the same .. we understand the economy is lousy for everyone, but we need money now, and please keep theatre alive in Atlanta.

These dramatic requests for money are made with as much emotion as the Olsen twins walking into Lane Bryant with a gift card. I felt like the theatre staff suddenly realized, "oh crap, if we want to receive a paycheck that will not bounce next week, we need some immediate cash flow!"

However, my question has always been WHY? I have served as stage manager [and production manager] for theatres small and large, for profit and non profit, well organized and fly by the seat of your pants. But I still have questions when it comes to how theatres manage their money:

1. For the non profit institutions, why do you need a staff of three that only tries to go after a decreasing amount of grant money? Why not use those same people to market shows, to locate your target audience, or to actually determine shows that an audience member will pay to see?

I have never understood this "need" to rely on charitable organizations for hand outs. HELLO! News flash from the planet of Duh .. why not grow and expand at the rate of your audience? If your whole budget comes from ticket sales, then you will know what works and what does not.

2. I understand the need for new works, and the opportunity to expose up and coming playwrights. But PEOPLE! Let's get the audiences in the door with what they want to see. I do not care if it is the 150th version of STEEL MAGNOLIAS or THE ODD COUPLE, get them in the door. Then expose your audiences to newer works on off nights or limited matinees. Your work may have the best actors and an incredible director, but what good does it do with no audience?

Remember, the time to experiment without the fear of failure [or no audiences] is during college.

3. Do any of these theatre companies actually understand the word budget? I was told about one company in Atlanta that had a $100,000 budget for a show, but ended up spending $130,000! How do you do that? An overspend of $30,000 is not just a simple. "oh we bought too many cans of paint at Home Depot." I always think it is funny how theatres will go on and on about their need for money, but are very reluctant to provide a yearly budget for public view. A small or medium sized business that went $30,000 over budget would face some serious problems. Why should these theatres be exempt? HELLO! You are not AIG or GM!

4. When the AJC ran an article about one of the theatres needing $10,000 immediately to meet their expenditures for the month, one of the readers responded with, "and what about next month, and the month after that?" For some reason, the company never responded to that question.

To quote the very astute businesswoman Dolly Parton, "there is a reason it is called SHOW BUSINESS!" Yes, the SHOW part comes from the heart and the need to create and entertain. However, you need butts [ie .. BUSINESS] in those seats or you might as well stay home and perform in front of the bathroom mirror.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ In commentary of Michael Jackson's contribution to the music business:

1. I find it very ironic that Michael passed away, less than a month before he was supposed to start his 50 date tour at London's 02 Arena. I remember watching the press conference regarding the concert dates, and how many of the reporters questioned if Michael would follow through with his commitment or find a way out.

2. From OFF THE WALL through DANGEROUS, I thought Michael was an artist who continued to grow. However, around the DANGEROUS tour, his dance steps and song selection began to feel stale. If you watch any of his videos from the late 80's and 90's, the choreography is just a continual repeat of "Billie Jean,""Beat It," and "Bad." The songs in his later albums, HISTORY and INVINCIBLE, were merely re-treads. He may have been labeled the "King of Pop," but he never had the artistic growth of Madonna or even Prince.

3. PEOPLE! Get ready for at least two years of Michael Jackson tribute sections on award shows, MJJ quickie bios, one or two tribute albums, and numerous re-releases of all the Jackson 5, Jacksons, and solo Michael cds.

4. I know that this will sound morbid, but get ready for the estate fight of the decade. Joe Jackson in one corner versus everyone from Quincy Jones to Janet in the other. If I was Debbie Rowe, I would be calling the best attorneys in the business.

5. I'm glad to see that someone like Madonna providing a response to MJ's passing. But Pete Wentz? Miley Cyrus? Heidi whats-her-name? Please! These kids were not even born when MJJ was at his Billie Jean peak! I wonder what Miss Ross will say?

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Due to a busy work schedule, I have not posted in a few days, but since I had a "running" question, why not share with the rest of the class?

What is with the large number of gay men and women [especially gay bloggers], who are acting so surprised and hurt that Obama is not running around the White House with a rainbow flag? After the Department of Justice's brief opposing the repeal of DOMA [Defense of Marriage Act - go to Joe.My.God or America Blog if you want more details], and the White House's support of this action, many GLBT folks are screaming fraud, boycotting dinners, refusing to dress Michelle, etc. Ok, I threw that last one in. I actually love me some Mrs. O .. finally a first lady since Nancy who could dress! And now she's a close friend with Queen Elizabeth!

But back to Obama .. PEOPLE! What did you think was going to happen? The man is a politician. He will tell every group anything for the vote! Do not forget that many of the same African American pastors who shouted Obama's name to the rooftops last November, ........ ARE THE EXACT SAME pastors who dislike most gay people! Are the EXACT SAME pastors who are against marriage equality ........ ARE THE EXACT SAME pastors who still think Kelly Rowland is still in Destiny's Child!

I personally believe that most changes for GLBT folk will occur at the local and state level, either through the courts or state houses. Therefore, Joe Solmonese and Marty Rouse, both from the Human Rights Campaign, don't make a big fuss over boycotting a fundraiser! Instead, why don't you concentrate on the everyday people you claim to represent .. how about working with organizations on the state level, or helping with the incredible rise in umemployment, or asking why the media is so focused on Heidi and Spencer when Iran is falling into civil chaos?

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ I know that many other bloggers have written about Carrie Prejean losing her Miss California crown, but I had to put my two cents in as well! I want to first state that I do not care how Carrie answered the gay marriage question at the Miss USA Pageant. I can't stand her due to everything she did AFTER the contest. Each of the top five contestants were asked difficult questions ranging from the war in Iraq to government bailout of big corporations. However, you do not see the other three ladies all over the news, complaining that how they answered their question cost them the crown. Now, drumroll please .. my top 4 reasons why I'm happy Carrie got canned ........

1. Besides her body, Carrie is fake, fake, fake and more fake. She does not have an actual opinion about gay marriage, gay adoption, or the movie, Zorro The Gay Blade! She knows that she is on a publicity ride that could last 15 minutes or a lifetime, so she better grab a jar of vaseline and be camera ready!

2. She is appealing to the goody-goody straight male idea of a blond bimbo! When Carrie was on FOX News, she actually started playing with one of her male co-host's hair - while on the air! She presents this "act" of I'm a good little girl who goes to church, but also has had a boob job and been photographed nude.

3. Since Anita Bryant is off the radar, we need a new villian! One who isn't some 400 year old preacher, or congressman who later gets got caught with high class hookers. Does anyone remember what was Carrie's talent? Could she sing a note? You know there have got to be some drag queens just prepping for their "Carrie" moment.

4. Maybe, just maybe someone will actually pay attention to the winner of this year's Miss USA Pageant, Kristen Dalton of North Carolina .. cause you know Miss Thing is not happy! Hello America!?!? I actually won!

Now I know that Carrie Peabrain will not just disappear after today's events. She'll probably get an anchor job at FOX News, write a tell-all book dramatically titled, "Stolen Crown: The Carrie Prejean Story," and have her own fashion doll .. with that tear away clothing for on the spot nude photoshoots!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Another Roscoe adventure, or the case of the over protective owner. You decide. Last Wednesday night, Roscoe swallowed some piece of plastic that I am almost certain he picked up from outside.

I had just brought him in from our nightly walk, and went to laundry room. I knew he was behind me, and then heard him go up the steps. Next thing I knew, he was throwing up yellow bile. This was followed by a few more spit ups, one of which contained the piece of plastic. I checked all his toys, but nothing was missing. Most of his toys are usually just the husk of some stuffed dog toy. By the first day, I generally have to remove all the stuffing since he chewed into the head, feet and stomachs of these poor animals. Do you know how weird it is to constantly see a stuffed pig with only eye, and you know they are thinking, "you let him do this to me!" For the rest of the night, he just laid beside me .. but I would be too, after throwing up six or seven times.

When I came home for lunch the next day, he acted better, but still sluggish. He did not want to play with Mr. Rabbit or the Kong ball, just lay around and watch Daddy eat lunch. Now I knew this was not like Roscoe, so I began to worry. Back at work, I mentioned his behavior to a co-worker, who stated, "its better to be safe than sorry," so I called the vet.

We drive up up the vet and he is already excited! Can't wait to get inside, can't wait to be fawned over by the vet assistants. This was not the same dog four hours ago! "Oh, Roscoe aren't you so handsome, .... aren't you so cute ... come and look at this little pug." Of course, I barely get a hello, while Roscoe works the runway down to his examining room, tail just a waggin. I know he's thinking, "Who me? ... I'm cute? ... I try to be modest." Now I want to throw up!

Once we get into the examining room and the vet comes in, I begin telling her why we are supposed to be needing medical attention. Meanwhile, Roscoe is just licking the vet's hand and face, tail a waggin! She checks his mouth, temperature, and belly .. but finds nothing wrong, only that Roscoe needs to lose a few pounds.

Loose a few pounds?? I'm thinking, "lady look here, my dog only eats dog food 99% of the time, goes for lengthy walks every evening, his food is measured out, etc. Who are you to judge? When was last time you look at yourself in the mirror naked?" But I kept these thoughts to myself.

End result ........ an over protective parent paying a $106.00 vet bill!

Meanwhile. back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Ever since I read the tour itinerary on joe.my.god's incredible website [he is on my blog roll yall], I have been beyond excited .. The Pet Shop Boys are coming to Atlanta [Chastain Ampitheatre] on 9/12!! Bring It To The Runway .. The Boys in Atlanta! Tickets go on sale Monday, 6/8, so wish me luck!

After Miss Ross [of course], the Boys and Madonna are up there as my favorite musical artists. I have listened to them from "West End Girls," to the album VERY, onto "I'm With Stupid," and now YES. Although many critics are loving the new album, YES, I'm just not that thrilled. I feel that FUNDAMENTAL was a far better work.

Anyway, the boys are coming to Atlanta! This makes up for Kylie not performing in the Southeast.

My Favorite 15 Songs By The Pet Shop Boys:

1. "I'm With Stupid" from FUNDAMENTAL [Love this song!]

2. "To Speak Is A Sin" from VERY

3. "In Denial" from NIGHTLIFE [Duet with Kylie]

4. "I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind Of Thing" from VERY

5. "Sorry" PSB Remix from Madonna's CONFESSIONS ON A DANCE FLOOR

6. "Absolutely Fabulous" from DISCO 2

7. "The Crying Game" from THE CRYING GAME Soundtrack [featuring Boy George]

8. "What Have I Done To Deserve This" from ACTUALLY [duet with Dusty Springfield]

9. "Bet She's Not Your Girlfriend" from ALTERNATIVE

10. "Too Many People" from ALTERNATIVE

11. "Metamorphosis" from BILINGUAL

12. "Minimal" from FUNDAMENTAL

13. "Positive Role Model" from DISCO 3

14. "Jealousy" from BEHAVIOR

15. "Can You Forgive Her?" from VERY ["........ cause you dance to disco, and don't like rock!}

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Gotta give two shout outs today:

SHOUT OUT #1: The State of New Hampshire has just made gay marriage legal in their state! Can you believe that? Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, Maine and now New Hampshire! I still can not believe the kind of progress gay marriage has made since November. I know it was not successful in California [yet!], but WOW!

On the flipside, I'll quote one of my former employers, "I believe in gay marriage. Why should only straight people go through the hell of divorce?"



SHOUT OUT #2: You know that I love, love, love dance music, especially remixes of pop songs. Well, I have just found an incredible new website, DJ Chromatic's Ultimate Mixes [http://www.ultimatemixes.blogspot.com/]. Dj Chromatic's [the damn good looking man in the above picture] site is filled with enough new and old mixes to make an aging disco diva wet his pants. He even had a Miss Ross remix that I had not heard!

Thanks DJ!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........

SHOUT OUT #1 .. goes to my friend Heather, who was just offered [and she accepted] her first "official" job since graduating from college. And Miss Thang received an offer less than a month after she graduated! Bring It To The Runway Miss Heather!! Major Congrats!!

SHOUT OUT #2 .. goes to a fraternity brother who I just reconnected with, Danny! Danny was one of the first people I ever came out to [I think he was number 2 or 3] as a young diva at HSU. Danny was in graduate school, had his own apartment, and just seemed like the "picture" of smart gay sophistication to a little ol' me.

Nowdays, Danny is Director of Operations at Safe Horizon, a drop-in center for homeless and street oriented youth in New York. And you know what, he still seems like the picture of gay sophistication!

AND NOW TO MY QUESTION .. With the killing of Dr. George Tiller today, I come back to my same question about people who want to ban all abortions .. Why aren't they offering to help the mothers? You never hear of an anti-abortion / pro-lifer saying, "if you will not have this baby aborted, I offer to pay all the pregnancy costs, and then adopt the child at birth." Why is that? It would seem to me, that the pro-lifers could better spend their time .. one, making better signs, cause someone in their group always misspells something, .. two, search the farmers almanac for the weather, because they always seem to protesting in the rain [And don't any these people have jobs? How do you ask for the day off to protest a family planning clinic?], .. and three, find out how to help these mothers who are making a choice, that in truth, only they will have to live with.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Just a few random thoughts for Wednesday, 5/27/2009:

1. Lt. Dan Choi .. You have become a HUGE hero to me! You came out on tv, and now champion gay rights throughout America. And yet, you still would like to go back to the military which threw you out for being gay! AMAZING! You are a West Point graduate, founder of Knights Out [for gay service men and women], an arabic translator [hello military, don't we need talented individuals like Lt. Choi?], and since I am Call Him Miss Ross, damn fine looking as well!

I tried to find a picture of Lt. Choi in his black "Don't Hide" t-shirt, but no luck. Anyway, Lt. Choi, you are an inspiration!

2. That dumbass bitch Carrie "Goody-Goodie" Prejean was on Fox News this morning, just gloating about Prop 8 being upheld. She sounds/acts/looks so stupid! I would love for Vanessa Williams to bitch slap that dumbass sometime!

3. Ok, I am not a huge fan of Sophie Ellis Bextor, but I AM LOVING her new song with the Freemasons, HEARTBREAK!!!!!!!! Does anyone know if this has been released in the US?



Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ....... I do not know about the rest of you, but I will sleep well tonight knowing that Carrie "Opposite Marriage" Prejean's dream of gay couples being denied the right to marry in California will continue!

What was with that CA Supreme Court decision anyway? OK, you 188,000 [or whatever the number was] gay couples who are married, can stay legally married. BUT NO MORE! I'm sure all the California Goody-Goodies [my new name for all the straights who are scared of anything gay] were just peeing in their pants today. However, if you really think about about, they did not get a clear victory .. you still have 188,000 [including Ellen, Melissa Etheridge, and Suzanne Westenhofer] and this will only make the gay populace even more determined.

And speaking of Goody-Goodies, have you heard about Miss Chris Engen, who apparently portrays some character on The Young And The Restless? Apparently Miss Engen did not want to share a same sex kiss with one of his co-stars [if it had been me, and the other star was Peter Bergman .. when do we get started and I will need several takes]. Therefore, due to his frustration over lack of airtime and an infamous kiss, Miss Thing walked off the show .. and he is still under contract.

Look Mary, there is just dumb and then there is stupid. You are messing up your little soap career, because there are over 100 guys just waiting to take your spot. And why throw a big ol' nellie fit anyway? Do the kiss scene, later be seen out with your girlfriend, receive gay recognition, and then move on with your career.

I'm sure all the Goody-Goodies will applaud Miss Engen for "standing her ground" ala Carrie Prejean [damn that bitch still makes me mad]. But why is it called "standing your ground" when you speak out against gay society? But when your straight and speak up for your gay friends and family, ala Kathy Griffin, Margaret Cho, Whoopi Goldberg, and Tom Hanks, you are just liberal Hollywood?

In closing, Christopher, plan your next step very carefully, or else we may see in a cruise ship chorus line .. if you are lucky!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ This evening I went with my brother and sister-in-law to see 3 male stand up comedians at a local "variety / comedy" playhouse. For the most part, I really enjoyed the show, and was thankful to have been given a ticket. Two of the comics were great, the other ok.

Now I love me some stand up comedians, but mostly the female comics. Joan Rivers, Margaret Cho, Suzanne Westenhofer, Maria Bamford, Kathleen Madigan and Mo'Nique are among my favorites. And in my book, Kathy Griffin and Kate Clinton can do no wrong. However, while I've certainly heard my share of male comics from Jerry Sienfeld to Larry The Cable Guy, I feel most of their humor is not as funny or intelligent as the ladies [and this includes the gay male comics like Bob Smith, Ant and Scott Kennedy].

Therefore, while watching the three comics this evening, I began asking myself the following questions:

1. Why are they so adamant that everyone know they're straight? All three made it very well known that there was a single straight male performing on that stage. One even claimed to be a "straight" metrosexual. Hello, what other kind of metrosexual is there? Are you truly worried that your audience is only concerned about the sexuality of their performers?

2. I realize that you want to feel comfortable while performing, but have you thought about wearing an outfit that actually fits? Or colors that work well with each other? And how about putting a little shoe polish on the shoes? Unless you are comic performing at a huge venue, most of the audience will be able to see your shoes.

3. At my office, in the audience tonight, and in the comic's jokes, there is this rampant anti-Obama feeling. Obama is the end of the world, Obama is the end of the economy, etc. My question is this ........ where was all this anti-Obama sentiment back in November 2008? Somebody must have liked the guy because he was voted in by the people. Are the people having "buyers remorse?" Unfortunately, my candidate only ended up as Secretary of State.

4. Is it that difficult to pick on the women from THE VIEW? Or Oprah? Or Liza Minnelli and Rosie O'Donnell? Or Nancy Pelosi? Please! Those are open targets. Or Clay Aiken, Ryan Seacrest or Sanjaya [yes, one of the comics is still referencing Sanjaya]? Come on guys, let's read the news a little more. What about Carrie Prejean [I can't wait till a Queen goes after her]? Perez Hilton? Glenn Beck? Pat Robertson? This is where the women come out on top!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Guess who I got to meet last night?? None other than Miss Whitley Gilbert herself, JASMINE GUY!! I was very excited! I loved Ms. Guy in A DIFFERENT WORLD, her performance as Velma Kelly in Chicago, and her 1990 self titled album! Yes, I was [and still am] one of those queens who loved to "perform" Jasmine's "TRY ME!"

Anyway, Ms. Guy is currently in Atlanta, starring in True Colors Theatre's fantastic production of BLUES FOR AN ALABAMA SKY! To say that Jasmine is great, would definetly be an understatement.

She is tiny, tiny, tiny in person, but stated that she still working to make her body like mine during my supermodel career. Seriously, she was beyond nice, took pictures and talked about her work for gay youth. LOVE YA MISS G!

And I have to give a very special shout out to my friend and True Colors Marketing Guru, Jenny D!! Thank you so much for the tickets and introduction. I am so glad you are someplace that encourages your great talent!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK, had a long and tough day at the office. Fortunately, I have Mr. R waiting for me at home. And I received this month's issue of OUT magazine. Since we are coming up on the Pride months, this is their special double issue .. Pet Shop Boys on the front!

Why the Melissa Manchester video of her singing "Don't Cry Out Loud" with the Muppets? Well, for one, the video is just too messed up. We are talking B-A-D interpretative dance, but I'm loving that muppet on the high wire. What is her story? In other words, the video is perfect to me! I wonder how Melissa's agent got her to go on The Muppet Show? But I can't say to much, Miss Ross did the same.

The other reason, I am truly mad/pissed/hurt/frustrated by two individuals. One I know that I can [hopefully] calm down and talk to, the other, has just pushed the line a little too far. Maybe this is why I love the high wire muppet?

"Don't cry out loud,

Just keep it inside,

Learn how to hide your feelings ........"

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ I had one of those "return of the long lost friend" Facebook moments today! Miss Kristi Quinn [not her full name, I never state full names in case I'm called to the stand against some of my friends :)] and I reconnected today!

I met Kristi in Geometry class, when she was a junior, and I was a sophmore in San Antonio. Even though we only went to school one year before I moved to Dallas, Kristi and I kept in touch throughout most of our college years. She still only looks 19!

Kristi truly was [and still is] one of those incredible individuals who know a lot of people, but still make your friendship feel very important.

Kristi Quinn could deal with my obsession with our high school cheerleaders [Leslie, Jane, Cindy, Tara, Melissa, Betsey, etc] and this new performer named Madonna. Yes it was 1984-1985! No I was not lusting after the cheerleaders ........ I just wanted to be one and knew that I was far better than Tara, who only knew how to do endless cart wheels and was only friendly on the day of cheerleader elections ........ but I digress.

And, Kristi was the first person that I ever actually came out to.

Anyway, Kristi is now a mom of two, a graphic designer, and thank goodness, very liberal!

THANKS for being a true friend, Kristi!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Just wanted to send a huge shout out to my friend, Heather G [pictured on the left], who just graduated from college!! Major congrats!

And thanks Heather, for asking me to DJ at your graduation party!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........