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HAYYYYY!! OK ........ It has been a busy week for the DIVA, but I wanted to share some thoughts for my loyal and always fashionable readers:

1. If I have not mentioned this before, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, and LOVE some more THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA! LOVE this show!! And although I know there are some who consider it trash .. well like Mom #2, Miss Anne of Hackberry, I LOVE this trash! My favorite housewife is Kandi Burrus. The girl actually has several careers, is a prolific songwriter, and has won a Grammy!

Due to my LOVE for Miss Kandi, I am going through the XSCAPE collection [Thanks Reed!], as well as her solo work. Which brings me to Kandi's latest release, the ep, FLY ABOVE. Readers, this is a GREAT [although small - only 5 songs] collection. My favorite songs include "Trade Him In" and "Must Be Good."

2. You have to acknowledge the truth .. On Friday, one of my work friends noticed that all of my cds were by black artists, mainly divas [Brandy, Whitney, Beyonce, Diddy, Deborah Cox, etc]. He said, "Paul, just admit it. You're a black boy wrapped in a white boy's body!" "I said, you got that right. Only I'm a black DIVA wrapped in a white boy's body!"



3. Oh LOOK! My favorite beauty queen was back in the news this week! Carrie! I've missed you. In case my readers are not aware, the directors of the Miss California pageant [who were in a counter suit against Carrie] received a rather interesting video tape this week. Appears that the former Miss CA was caught in a rather revealing sex tape. Carrie, Carrie, Carrie, I though you knew better. Next time, hire someone who understands lighting for video tape.

4. Question: Can the board handle the DIVA and the Divine? After a nail biting, weave pulling, name calling, and captured all on video tape [Carrie can be found in the background], my condo association held the board elections yesterday. Although Lady Di later remarked that she thought my wearing overalls to the election [HAYYYYY they are comfortable], looked less than inspiring, both the Divine Miss Gina and myself were elected to the board!! Can you believe it? One step toward Roscoe being named First Pug!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall Of Justice ........


HAYYYYY!! OK ........ I have to send a HUGE shout out to the Legendary LADY DI for her fantastic Halloween Par-Tay on Saturday night! What our little Martha Stewart mixed with Monte Hall [and a sprinkle of Donald Trump] can do with her carport is AMAZING! There were tables, chairs, spooky music, and spiderwebs everywhere! Not to mention some really good eats.

Now you know the Divas of Hackberry were bringing it to the runway for this par-tay! We had the Divine Red Hatter [Miss Peggy], Miss Halloween Festivities 2009 [Miss Anne], a former go-go dancer from READY, SET, GO [the goddess Cindy - as I have been instructed to call her], and pure, not refined, White Trash [Miss Gina]! Speaking of Miss G, I would like to show some pics from the party, but guess who has not sent them to Call Him Miss Ross? :) As for the THE DIVA, the look went as follows: Converse sneakers, Craftsman overalls, dark blue thermal shirt, and THE HAT:



Dear readers, due to my "voice of an angel," and the fact that I worked for several years with the USO in Serbia and lower Antarctica, the diva is often asked to perform at dinner parties, social gatherings, and even Target openings. Well, last nights par-tay was no exception. During a short lived lull in the conversation, I was dragged to the mainstage and performed my version of Kim Zolciak's classic, "Tardy For The Party." Although my time on stage was short [uh hello Lady DI?!?!], the applause was deafening!

Once again, LADY DI, thanks for a great time!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........


HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Had to run by Target tonight after work. You could almost feel those "bullseye" employees sweeping all the Halloween merchandise out the back door. Two weeks ago, the store had devoted 5 or more cramped aisles to costumes, candy and "stuff." Today, you were lucky to have three rows, all with minimal merchandise. Target slow down! You'll have your chance in two days! Be patient! Besides, I find it a little odd to be looking at Halloween candy while hearing Sinatra's Christmas album blasting from the kiosk behind me. And news flash from the planet of DUH, Thanksgiving deserves more than half an aisle in the stationary section.

Anyway, while I was meandering around the store, my eye caught sight of the above photographed "Barbie Glamour Camper." Closer inspection of the box, revealed that Barbie was claiming this camper was the updated version of her classic 1970's "Country Camper." Uh Barbie, don't make me get all ghetto on your plastic butt! But that ain't like your "Country Camper," just a cheap imitation!

You see, I wanted the "Country Camper" during the 70s! I loved the yellow/brown/green colors that were such a part of the 70's color scheme. I loved the pop-out tent, I loved the rear view window, I loved the sliding piece of plastic used to get into the camper, etc. As the box below states, "A Home For Barbie Whenever She Explores The Great Outdoors - The Swinginest Camper On Wheels!" I LOVE THAT .. The Swinginest Camper!



Barbie, what the doritos [cool ranch] is a "glamour camper?" There ain't nothing glamourous about camping, even if you ARE Barbie. And why do Ken, Skipper and yourself look like Japanese anime? This cheap imitation smells like something "Cindy," your half wit competition sold exclusively at Sears during the 70's, might be seen driving around town.

Barbie, I WANTED the 70's camper, but since all things Barbie were out of the question growing up, I had settle for "Big Jim's Sports Camper" [below]. It might not have been the swinginest mobile home, but for a diva with a great deal of imagination ........



Moral of the story? If the classic ain't broke, don't update for 2009!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........


HAYYYYY!! OK ........ I hope everybody is having a GREAT weekend! Just wanted to share what the DIVA has been up to! HA!! Forget all that sentimental hot mess! I really wanted to show off the "DIVALISCIOUS LATOYA INSPIRED" hat, that I bought at Target last night!! This is the hat I plan on wearing to Lady Di's Halloween Par-tay next Saturday!

How was I able to obtain such a hat .. last night, Miss Cindi, Miss Gina, Miss Anne, Lady Di [the Hackberry Diva's missing Miss Peggy - we missed you!] and Call Him Miss Ross all met up for dinner. After a great meal, but a very slow time getting our check, we headed to Target. Now the ladies have known that I have been searching for just the "right" witches hat to wear on Halloween. Well, Lady Di found it! THANK YOU!! It is perfect and reminds me of Latoya's at Micheal's funeral. Now dear reader, I am not going as a witch .. but we'll see.

I do want to add a note of thanks to the Divas for ending my week out on a great and funny note! I had some disappointments this past week, and I am so grateful for your friendships!

And speaking of friends, today I spent the afternoon with the founder of the I-tunes Mafia, the fantastic Product Reed! We traded music, talked endlessly about divas and our devotion to all things MAC! Thanks to Mr. Reed for the XSCAPE, MARY MARY, MARIAH and KELLY PRICE! Gotta have my divas!



I like to call this "Crouching Pug, Hidden Roscoe!"

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........


HAYYYYY!! OK ........ I know what you are asking yourself right now noble readers .. was THE DIVA really able to meet and take a picture of Tilda Swinton in costume as the White Witch from THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE ??

NO!! That is yours truly, A LA DIVA, under two blankets and a sweat suit, trying to keep warm and assist the fabulous Hackberry Girls, Miss Gina and Miss Anne, during our condo community garage sale on Saturday. At least one carport on every street had a sale going! Now, noble readers, grab your tissues, cause this is where you learn of the sacrifices your DIVA had to make: 1. Had to be up and going at 7:40 am on a SATURDAY MORNING!! 2. The temperature dropped from the 50's to the 40's. 3. About two hours into the sale, the rain started. I KNOW I should be immediately designated for saint hood .. I'm just waiting for my Fed Ex letter from the Vatican!

Anyway, although the rain cut down on the amount of potential buyers, Miss Gina was still able to make $50+.

Sooooo, I want to send a HUGE shout out to Miss Gina, for letting us use her carport, her stickers, and keeping us awake; to Miss Anne for the company and hot chocolate [even though she did buy the Batman doll I had my eye on :)]; to Deal or No Deal Miss Diana for the brunch goodies and Miss Peggy for the company and kerosene lamp!

After the nail biting high drama of the garage sale [ie .. Miss Diana stating, "When you're ready to work with me, I'll be back!], I decided to visit a calmer environment .. Target on a cold Saturday afternoon, two weeks before Halloween!

30 minutes later I escaped from the madness with some household items and a costume for Mr. Man. Below is a sneak peek:



He looks beyond thrilled! Bring that attitude to the runway, my little supermodel!

Meanwhile, back to the Hall of Justice ........


HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Ooooops! A week since my last post. I will have to make up for lost time in the next few days. Anyway, although Mariah's latest work, MEMOIRS OF AN IMPERFECT ANGEL, has been out for over three weeks, I know that yall just had to know what THE DIVA thought of THE VOICE.

Honeybees and others who do not belong to Miss Carey's fan club, this disc took a while and repeated plays on the pod to grow on me. I don't think it is as good as Miss Houston's I LOOK TO YOU, but then again, ol' Whitney had 7 plus years to put something on the shelves.

Here are loves, dislikes, and what was THE VOICE thinking?

1. Favorite songs are the "kiss off" cuts like "Betcha Gon' Know" [one of M's best breathy whisper deliveries], "Obsessed," "Standing O" [Had to grow on me, but now I LOVE], and "Up Out Of My Face." These songs all have a harder beat, and were produced by The Dream ["Umbrella" "Me Against The Music"] and Tricky.

2. Mariah's last two works, EMANCIPATION OF MIMI and E-MC2, both contained cuts and "introductions" by Jermaine Dupri. In my opinion he is really missing from MEMOIRS. Besides bringing some hard bass, Jermaine also brought humor to M's over the top sentimentality. What happened Ms. Carey? Janet catch you with her man? Too bad Jermaine could not work the same Mariah magic ["It's Like That," "Shake It Off"] with Ms. Jackson's DISCIPLINE.

3. M is known for covering hit ballads from other artists. But "I Want To Know What Love Is?" I can listen to the song right up until the choir enters. Was this a last minute choice Mariah?

4. Mariah Carey .. VOICE, you bet, .. SHOWMAN, working on it, LYRICIST .. oh boy!

"This is for real, for real, for real; Oprah Winfrey, whole segment, for real ........"

"With a whole lotta; gel and acrylic can fix this; when I break I break; If we were two lego blocks ........"

Baby, stick with what you do best. I know that you go on and on about writing your own songs, but M you are making Madonna look like Truman Capote. Just write a line here and there, get your name on the publishing rights and leave the rest to the experts. Like Britney.

5. Along with the interludes and reprises [there are FOUR!], MEMOIRS has 17 songs. M should have just released numbers 1 - 10. Cuts 11 through 17 should have been called the "I love Nick Cannon, but will he help me breathe underwater, then constantly tell me I am angel who cries love like Duncan Hines cake mix" album. These songs slowly become one LOOOOOOONG ballad [and you know THE DIVA, I can only take so many ballads]. Mariah, we get the point. You love Nick, Nick helps you breathe, Nick is so wonderful, Nick will make you cakes with the Dincan Hines mix between his gigs as the host of America's Got Talent.

FINAL THOUGHT: Mariah go back to the dancefloor [at least her singles are remixed], call up Jermaine, and keep being THE VOICE.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

OK ........ Congrats To The DIVA of Pink!



HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Today's post is a huge shout out to the ["new title"] DIVA OF PINK, formerly known as THE PINK PRINCESS! I wanted to express my huge congrats on the DIVA officially becoming engaged. Yes, my buddy who I used to gossip about Britney, J-Lo, and Justin for hours, is on her way to becoming a married woman.

I've known the DIVA for 7 years, ..... through concerts [Madonna's "Re-Invention Tour"]; plays [we saw MADEA GOES TO JAIL live with Tyler Perry]; interesting bosses, co-workers and demanding actresses; our latest obsession [Real Housewives of Atlanta]; and mountains of pizza ..... we have remained REAL FRIENDS. Even though she'd say I annoy her 90% of the time [unless she wants a diet coke or Frosty from Wendy's].

So, I send a HUGE CONGRATS to Sammy and Vinnci, probably one of the best couples I know.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........


HAYYYYY!! OK ........ After yours truly, Call Him Miss Ross, was harshly scolded by Hackberry Diva-In-Training, Miss Gina, for not posting more pictures of Mr. Roscoe, I decided to let Mr. Man [pictured above on the floor, with his buddy, Peabody, who is in the chair] give the birthday shout outs:

1. A Huge HAPPY [and belated] BIRTHDAY to our Real Estate Diva Supreme, Miss Peggy! I hope that you had a fantastic birthday, and enjoy the new tv! Thanks for letting my dad be a part of your birthday celebration with Miss Anne and Miss Gina. And remember, if you get an i-phone, Daddy will be glad to talk your ears off.

2. Super Size with a chocolate milk HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my friend [and Doobie's Mama] Jennifer, whose birthday is actually on Tuesday! Happy number #29, although you don't look older than 21! My Dad says, "Thank you for the great dinner .. with red velvet cake [he loves, loves, loves some cream cheese icing]."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADIES!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........


HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Two points of irony that I would like to share with you today, gentle readers:

1. As some of you are experiencing, it has been rain, rain and more rain throughout most of middle and north Georgia. Homes have been flooded, bridges are falling apart, and many businesses and schools have closed or let people leave early. In addition to the potential property damage, most of my neighbors and co-workers are extremely tired of the rain. Rain, rain go away ........

PEOPLE!! [House of Dereon: Where the catwalk meets the sidewalk! Tina Knowles]

Are you not the same group that went on and on and on the last few summers about the lack of rain? Lake Lanier was supposedly drying up, Six Flags was recycling water, and as I learned from Oprah last week, Whitney actually left Bobby and Atlanta in 2006! This is rain you wanted, the rain you begged for and most importantly, THE RAIN THAT SONNY PRAYED FOR!!

Don't you remember, Sonny out there at the state capital praying for rain? You asked GOD for rain, now don't complain! Always remember to really think about your requests to GOD.

2. I have a friend who works for one of Atlanta's local magazines. She stated that the "living" section is constantly updating their restaurant listing guide, due to the number of establishments that have closed in the past few years. Either due to funds, lack of interest or even bad timing, many restaurants are having trouble keeping their doors open 6 months to a year.

RESTAURANT OWNERS AND WAIT STAFF!! [House of Dereon: Where the catwalk meets the sidewalk! Tina Knowles]

When possible customers have limited funds, but also several choices, it is not a good idea to provide poor service. I went to a restaurant last night, where I have never experienced "great service." In the past, I have had to ask if my table even had a waiter. However, my dining companions enjoy the establishment and the food is quite good. Until last night ....... cold soup that was returned to the kitchen twice; several requests for drink refills before anything happened; two of the three people received their meals while the third order was not even given to the kitchen; our original waiter approached the table once to say, "one minute," while his replacement took our order and disappeared, and finally a third waiter came to the table [maybe we were supposed to meet the entire staff] ........

When we finally asked for a manager, he came out with this whole, "I'm soooooooo sorry" number. Sorry does not cut it [although he excused the entire bill]. The restaurant was half full, with wait staff standing around.

In this economy ........ a little too ironic, yeah I really do think!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........


HAYYYYY!! OK ....... Found the dvd of VALENTINO: THE LAST EMPEROR at Target [of all places] today. Loved the movie! And you know me, and how much I love anything to do with films about haute couture.

However, if you have an interest in VALENTINO, please know that it will be quite different from the legendary ISAAC MIZRAHI: UNZIPPED and MARC JACOBS & LOUIS VUITTON [both technically not haute couture houses]. UNZIPPED, which was released as the super model rage was beginning to wane, gave viewers a glimpse of the creation process, along with Mizrahi's adorable personality.

MARC JACOBS, which is actually the best of the three, dissected Marc's creative process from start to finish. I loved that Jacobs was routinely inspired by modern art [and musicians such as Lil Kim and Madonna, who inspired the 2009 LV campaign].

But back to VALENTINO, ........ while the film is about his relationship with Giancarlo Giammetti, Valentino's life and business partner for 50+ years, it is also a commentary on how big "bottom line" business has invaded the world of high fashion. The designer stages a celebration of his 45 years in fashion, while at the same time, trying to decide if he wants to continue.

Four of my favorite VALENTINO moments:

1. Valentino and Giammetti host a lavish party for a guest list that includes Joan Collins, Anna Wintour [I'm still waiting to see THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE], Gwyneth Paltrow [she is all over this film, no wonder the girl is hardly in any movies, she's with Valentino everyday] and Martha Stewart. Anyway, Martha starts snooping around the washing room and kitchen. She walks right up to the chef and says, "Hi, I'm Martha Stewart. I write cookbooks in America." To which the chef coldly responds, "oh, I KNOW YOU."

2. Love, love, love me some fashions [and hair] from the 60's. This movie has plenty of 60's footage, including Valentino's designs for Elizabeth Taylor and Jackie O.

3. Micheal, the major domo for Valentino's 6 homes [which include a villa in Rome, an apartment in New York, and a chalet in Gstaad]. This man obviously knows his job. He was always trying to stay two steps ahead of a thankless man whose head is in the clouds. Sounds like a director I know [and worked for].

4. Valentino has 5 pugs that go everywhere .. Milton, Monty, Margot, Maude and Molly!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........

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