HAYYYYY!! OK ........ Time for some soap box words of wisdom.

In the past month, I have seen or heard three Atlanta theatres make pleas, either through curtain speeches or e-mail blasts, for immediate assistance to their budgets. The plea may be presented differently, but the message is the same .. we understand the economy is lousy for everyone, but we need money now, and please keep theatre alive in Atlanta.

These dramatic requests for money are made with as much emotion as the Olsen twins walking into Lane Bryant with a gift card. I felt like the theatre staff suddenly realized, "oh crap, if we want to receive a paycheck that will not bounce next week, we need some immediate cash flow!"

However, my question has always been WHY? I have served as stage manager [and production manager] for theatres small and large, for profit and non profit, well organized and fly by the seat of your pants. But I still have questions when it comes to how theatres manage their money:

1. For the non profit institutions, why do you need a staff of three that only tries to go after a decreasing amount of grant money? Why not use those same people to market shows, to locate your target audience, or to actually determine shows that an audience member will pay to see?

I have never understood this "need" to rely on charitable organizations for hand outs. HELLO! News flash from the planet of Duh .. why not grow and expand at the rate of your audience? If your whole budget comes from ticket sales, then you will know what works and what does not.

2. I understand the need for new works, and the opportunity to expose up and coming playwrights. But PEOPLE! Let's get the audiences in the door with what they want to see. I do not care if it is the 150th version of STEEL MAGNOLIAS or THE ODD COUPLE, get them in the door. Then expose your audiences to newer works on off nights or limited matinees. Your work may have the best actors and an incredible director, but what good does it do with no audience?

Remember, the time to experiment without the fear of failure [or no audiences] is during college.

3. Do any of these theatre companies actually understand the word budget? I was told about one company in Atlanta that had a $100,000 budget for a show, but ended up spending $130,000! How do you do that? An overspend of $30,000 is not just a simple. "oh we bought too many cans of paint at Home Depot." I always think it is funny how theatres will go on and on about their need for money, but are very reluctant to provide a yearly budget for public view. A small or medium sized business that went $30,000 over budget would face some serious problems. Why should these theatres be exempt? HELLO! You are not AIG or GM!

4. When the AJC ran an article about one of the theatres needing $10,000 immediately to meet their expenditures for the month, one of the readers responded with, "and what about next month, and the month after that?" For some reason, the company never responded to that question.

To quote the very astute businesswoman Dolly Parton, "there is a reason it is called SHOW BUSINESS!" Yes, the SHOW part comes from the heart and the need to create and entertain. However, you need butts [ie .. BUSINESS] in those seats or you might as well stay home and perform in front of the bathroom mirror.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ........