OK .. In my previous blogs, I have written about how I have been given some great advice which contained among many thoughts, the philosophy of "be yourself, and do not care what others think." A great philosophy and way to lead your life .. although, at times, very difficult to start doing.

While I have been working to put this way of thinking into my everyday life, I have run across a few individuals who appear to have gone through, or are currently undergoing the same process. Interestingly enough, we each identify / desire to be a part of with the "bear" community. And yet, we have each found that for some very strange reasons, the "come on in" door never has swung completely open.

Before I go on, please do not take this post as an attack on the bear community, which I have a great fondness for on both a physical and spiritual level. But take what I'm writing as a commentary on someone trying to fit in, while at the same time, being true who they are.

And let me also state that I have known about the "bear" community since 1992. During those first years, I thought the bears saw themselves as the answer to the muscled, hairless, golden haired porn stars that were constantly being shoved down our throats. But on a different level, bears were originally supposed to be the community that accepted everyone, no matter what they looked like or how they acted.

But compare that original philosophy to what I've heard from friends these past weeks ..

"I was told that I could not be a bear because I was not fat enough."
"I was told that I could not be a bear because I drove a Honda Civic instead of a Ram 4X4 truck."
"I was told that I could not be a bear because I went to the bar dressed in something other than jeans and a t-shirt."
"I was told that I could not be a bear because I did not act masculine enough."
"I was told I could not be a bear because my online pictures were not "rough" enough."

???? WHAT ????

As I've written about several times lately, I am in the process of starting over, which means finding new friends and [hopefully] joining a group or two.
But after hearing from other men who have had these experiences, I have begun to wonder, just what is out there? Would I have to completely change how I act, how I look, how I think, how I dress, and maybe even what I drive to just fit in?

I've thought a lot about what I was told this past weekend. I debated whether I should blog about this subject, because of the possible negative way it could be viewed. And I wondered if I even wanted to make the changes.

In the end, the answer is no. I don't have a hyper masculine attitude [or LJ name]. I have a very campy attitude and view much of my life that way. And I certainly do not have those rough profile pictures [though that may change .. PR].

But I gotta believe that what I do have to offer is enough to at least squeeze myself through that community door.